CELLULAR

So. Jason Statham kidnaps Kim Basinger, who insists he's got the wrong person. She hotwires a broken phone back together and manages to call... some guy who is currently trying to email a video of some girl's boobs to himself on his cell phone. We are officially in possession of too much technology, people. It is a pretty interesting trailer, though, as this guy (Chris Evans--hmm, tell me more) finds himself commandeering cars, holding up Radio Shack for a phone charger, and dodging death in highway chases for this woman he doesn't even know.

Greg of Yahoo Movies' "Greg's Previews" adds, "Larry Cohen apparently came up with so many great ideas from the same concept that he spun it out into two extremely similar scripts... and both are in development at major studios. Wow. First, you have the one-location Phone Booth, and then after it, there'll be this film... except now the phone is cellular, so the hero can, you know, walk around and stuff. Maybe Cohen will make it a trilogy, and have the next one be about someone who receives an e-mail message."

Vladimir: ...on his PDA.

Cleolinda: Exactly what I was thinking. Call it "Blackberry."

ALEXANDER

Well, if you're going to have Standard Boring Narration, you may as well have Anthony Hopkins do it (I picture Announcer Guy sulking in the corner of the studio). Mostly it's a lot of armor and horses and blond. Kinda reminds me of Troy, just with a lot more horses. And the "Conquer your fear! And I promise you! You will conquer death!" is a lot like Brad Pitt's "Immortality! Take it! It's yours!" line--mostly in how silly it sounds out loud. The really interesting tactic the trailer uses is not to show any of the other big-name stars (Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Hopkins), just Colin Farrell and his weird, weird blond hair. It's okay for a teaser, but... I wouldn't advise you to run out and download this thing toute suite.

VANITY FAIR

Oooo. I'm looking forward to this one. Reese Witherspoon pulls off a good British accent, and I think she'll make a great Becky Sharp. (Ooo, I didn't even know Gabriel Byrne was in this, too!) There's an Indian-themed scene--some sort of performance the female characters put on--that looks a bit out of place for the period, but it's Mira Nair, so I'll allow it.

SEED OF CHUCKY

BZZT! Worthless. Just teaser footage of a sonogram that won't be in the movie. Might be sort of interesting if you were watching TV and it randomly came on. It's not worth a 20 mb download.