tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53081202012-02-02T13:29:09.076-08:00Trailer ParkWant to know if that trailer is worth your download time? Find out.Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1691100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1093558614087455072004-08-26T15:10:00.000-07:002004-08-26T15:19:22.863-07:00CLOSER
Called after a fave Joy Division album, scored with a neat Suzanne Vega song.
Falling under a truck, Natalie Portman ends up as a huge photo, and a stripper.
Carrying a bouquet, Jude Law ends up carrying a bouquet.
Smiling like a she-goat, Julia Roberts ends up reminding us she's won an Oscar.
Speaking like a goat-herder, Clive Owen ogles the real Amidala for a change.
Actually, Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1087636223468693802004-06-19T02:05:00.000-07:002004-06-19T02:10:23.466-07:00CATWOMAN
I sure hope this falls under Cleo's definition of a trailer review.Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1086695101917573642004-06-08T04:32:00.000-07:002004-06-08T04:45:01.916-07:00THE AVIATOR
Yo, Marty, two things.
First, if you want to make your own Great American Biopic, you nerd you, go film the story of William Randolph Hearst himself; for all the ejaculate swapping dedicated to Citizen Kane over the past 60-odd years, noone has done it, and you have shown recently that you're nothing if not dedicated to plagiarizing being inspired by the classics.
Second, if you Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1086191529037947032004-06-02T08:52:00.000-07:002004-06-02T08:52:09.036-07:00THE POLAR EXPRESS
I hate this trailer.
It's not as godforsaken as The Grinch, I give you that. But I'm a big Van Allsburg fan, and I cherished this book as a kid, and--the tone of the movie is just completely, completely off. It ought to be something hushed and magical and almost spooky. You know the main Harry Potter theme? That's what I hear in my head when I imagine it. It should not full ofCleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1085756589620864252004-05-28T08:02:00.000-07:002004-05-28T08:03:09.620-07:00CELLULAR
So. Jason Statham kidnaps Kim Basinger, who insists he's got the wrong person. She hotwires a broken phone back together and manages to call... some guy who is currently trying to email a video of some girl's boobs to himself on his cell phone. We are officially in possession of too much technology, people. It is a pretty interesting trailer, though, as this guy (Chris Evans--hmm, tell Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1085576193265216542004-05-26T05:45:00.000-07:002004-05-26T05:56:33.266-07:00ALEXANDER
(Cleo allows me a second opinion, bless her heart, and it's always advisable that you get two reviews of a single trailer. Especially when we couldn't have been bothered to review the dozens of others that came out recently...)
Rejoice! Finally we get a historical epic in 2004 that seems to be worth waiting for. I never had much hope for Troy, and the setting of King Arthur did Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1085536024831318942004-05-25T18:47:00.000-07:002004-05-25T18:47:04.830-07:00ALEXANDER
Well, if you're going to have Standard Boring Narration, you may as well have Anthony Hopkins do it (I picture Announcer Guy sulking in the corner of the studio). Mostly it's a lot of armor and horses and blond. Kinda reminds me of Troy, just with a lot more horses. And the "Conquer your fear! And I promise you! You will conquer death!" is a lot like Brad Pitt's "Immortality! Take it! Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1085182967751996622004-05-21T15:48:00.000-07:002004-05-21T16:42:47.753-07:00THX-1138
What's wrong?
Well, (a) I go to Malta and then have a writer's block for a while, and the entire Blogger template changes. Actually, I like it this way. (b) "What's wrong?" is a tag of this movie. It's an existential, dystopian future of the kind young filmmakers don't create anymore... Probably because they can't even spell "dystopian". Still, the film is nothing much. People would Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1083695827028817902004-05-04T11:37:00.000-07:002004-05-04T11:39:46.153-07:00VANITY FAIR
Oooo. I'm looking forward to this one. Reese Witherspoon pulls off a good British accent, and I think she'll make a great Becky Sharp. (Ooo, I didn't even know Gabriel Byrne was in this, too!) There's an Indian-themed scene--some sort of performance the female characters put on--that looks a bit out of place for the period, but it's Mira Nair, so I'll allow it. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1083695267475045222004-05-04T11:27:00.000-07:002004-05-04T11:30:26.716-07:00SEED OF CHUCKY
BZZT! Worthless. Just teaser footage of a sonogram that won't be in the movie. Might be sort of interesting if you were watching TV and it randomly came on. It's not worth a 20 mb download. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1083607480001956342004-05-03T11:04:00.000-07:002004-05-03T11:07:38.043-07:00KING ARTHUR: TV SPOTS
As previously reported, I thought this one had potential. To be a summer blockbuster and an exciting Arthurian movie the likes of which we have never seen before. Taking story elements from the 12th and 13th century French sources, yes, but playing them out in a convincing 5th century British setting.
And this is where my hopes for this movie were dashed.
No, seriously. Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1083085781821446422004-04-27T10:09:00.000-07:002004-04-27T10:12:46.110-07:00HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (INTERNATIONAL)
Ahhh, a palate cleanser. It's a great trailer, great spooky mood that I wanted in the other two trailers and didn't get, and then... you get to the end and you see the title come up in Japanese and you hear this announcer say, "HAREE POOTUR..." and I just lost it, man. Just put my head back and howled for about five minutes. Too, too funnyCleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1083084619867601192004-04-27T09:50:00.000-07:002004-04-27T09:54:16.060-07:00THE VILLAGE (FULL TRAILER)
Good trailer. Freaky as all hell, in that Shyamalan floor-creaking door-slamming way. My sister will probably end up sleeping in my bed again if she sees this. I will pay good money bad money okay, I have no money to whoever can pony up a spoiler as to what those things in the woods actually are. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1083084013585718822004-04-27T09:40:00.000-07:002004-04-27T09:43:17.436-07:00VAN HELSING CLIPS
As has previously been noted, I'm sort of in this one for the long haul (family on the crew), so I'll be the one to take the bullet on most of this stuff (with the exception of Vladimir's post below. He's in recovery as we speak).
The clips are... so very, very silly. For real. Kate Beckinsale's accent is awful, but she commits to the awful, and is therefore consistently Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1082708522455149662004-04-23T01:22:00.000-07:002004-04-23T01:25:02.280-07:00VAN HELSING: FEATURETTES
Download PR Fluff At Your Own Time & Expense, For Free! See: Stephen Sommers having no idea what makes a horror film work! Recoil: Hugh Jackman having incredibly long hair in one featurette, then his regular short one in the other! Vomit: actual shots in VH are compared to their counterparts in the classic Universal monster movies, but so fast you can't see what's going Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1082241938581239792004-04-17T15:45:00.000-07:002004-04-17T15:50:36.763-07:00TERMINAL
Where I come from, it was almost folklore - all the time, you kept hearing that Spielberg is going to film this or that incident from the recent spate of Balkan Wars. People left stranded on the airport terminals, POWs being used to clear landmines by walking, people hunting for indicted war criminals. And since one of his staple producers these days is Branko Lustig, who cut his Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081877098087491522004-04-13T10:24:00.000-07:002004-04-13T10:58:27.200-07:00I, ROBOT: TRAILER 2
I didn't like the first trailer. It seemed cheesy, and over-reliant on Will Smith's wisecracks and interminable action setpieces - and once you've seen dozens upon dozens of summer blockbusters, you pretty much become inured to interminable action setpieces. That's just how it is. So why do I like this second one? Is it a guilt trip on my part? Have I been brainwashed into Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081853851467960482004-04-13T03:57:00.000-07:002004-04-13T04:03:26.640-07:00NEW YORK MINUTE
Right. This is just wrong on so many levels, but as I don't live in America and have thus been completely unaware of the whole Olsen Twins Phenomenon over the years, I can't even get past Level One: How Come I Can't Even Enjoy a Ditzy Trailer Featuring Twin Socialite Teenage Blondes.
Might be because it's 100% recycled from other movies and TV shows. But... I like recycling. TheVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081851774938547802004-04-13T03:22:00.000-07:002004-04-13T03:52:09.093-07:00THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
Um, this is actually Jonathan Demme's first thriller after The Silence of the Lambs. I'm just sayin'.
Not that Paramount seems to have an idea about how to market it, or even how to get the concept across. I've watched this trailer for four days in a row now, and as a fan of the Frankenheimer original - one of the smartest, most provocative political thrillers ever - I Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081503515429206282004-04-09T02:38:00.000-07:002004-04-09T03:18:33.903-07:00SPIDER-MAN 2
Or, The Return of the Hyphen. Now in glorious Quicktime. And downloadable in one hefty 45.4 MB Zip file, for those of you willing to go all the way.
Cleo reviewed a bootleg copy of this a while ago (see below), and all I have to add is - this version is about twice as long as the one initially shown at the junket at which the boot was taken. It's much more polished in just about Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081451932281486772004-04-08T12:18:00.000-07:002004-04-08T12:23:51.606-07:00THE STEPFORD WIVES
Granted, if you don't know what the concept is, this is a hard movie to sell. So the trailer does its damnedest to do pitch you the said concept: Nicole Kidman is a TV exec (who has a 1870s spinster hairdo, and wears a Bond Maoist Villain robe both to the office and to award ceremonies - the point is that she's an intellectual, we get it). Then she gets laid off and goes to Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081371886492618642004-04-07T14:04:00.000-07:002004-04-07T14:08:33.263-07:00KILL BILL, VOL. 2
Finally.
I mean, it opens in something like a week, if you're in America. If you have seen the first part, you know that you must see it. If you haven't, go rent the DVD, see the most cinematic piece of cinema that cinemastered the cinemas in 2003, and start drooling in anticipation. Don't buy the DVD, however. It's rather slim. Just wait for the box. What's gonna be in the Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081226948722066512004-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:002004-04-05T21:51:51.030-07:00WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S THE MERCHANT OF VENICE
You know, as opposed to Stephen King's Merchant of Venice. Anyway, once we have the obvious out of the way, and once we step over my "Do we not bleed? Hoo-ah!" joke from six months ago, we find... Shylock Pacino sporting an undisguised American accent. Go you, man. In a movie full of Brits, that doesn't sound discordant AT ALL.
On the upside, we do Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081225654091530322004-04-05T21:27:00.000-07:002004-04-05T21:30:16.623-07:00THE DOOR IN THE FLOOR
What the shit is this? It's like a mad scientist tried to fuse a heartwarming midlife crisis/coming of age flick with a haunting psychodrama, and ended up burning down his lab in the process. Seriously, this trailer gave me whiplash. One moment it's all like, THE END OF INNOCENCE and "the Mommy saw some terrible things" (pseudo-subliminal FLASH! of trauma!) and then it's Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081081252532422522004-04-04T05:20:00.000-07:002004-04-04T06:28:41.216-07:00LEMONY SNICKET
Again: not a trailer (actually, a one-minute TV spot) I'm very objective towards, as I loooooove these books and OMG everything looks so good SQUEEEE!
My one complaint is that there's a little too much Jim Carrey mugging. I define "too much" thusly: "It has nothing to do with the actual movie." Like him walking around like a dinosaur shrieking. Now, if the mugging has to do with Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1081008753975152332004-04-03T08:12:00.000-08:002004-04-03T08:18:12.780-08:00DE-LOVELY
Irwin Winkler, who used to be Scorsese's regular producer before Marty sold his soul, beard and eyebrows to Miramax, directs! again! And this time, it's another of his favorite Big Subjects - a sort of a biopic of Cole Porter. I can tell that Kevin Kline plays Porter, and Ashley Judd plays the woman he adored, and I can also tell that it's not only women that he adored. (Shot: Kline Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080829675637133232004-04-01T06:27:00.000-08:002004-04-01T06:30:33.403-08:00TROY
I can't tell you much about this one, because the quality is shit. However, it seems much more Brad Pitt-based than previous trailers. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080691372968170382004-03-30T16:02:00.000-08:002004-03-30T16:07:14.483-08:00CATWOMAN
Update on the entry from the other day: Look, I have the Catwoman trailer of awful awfulness. It's less than a mb, if I recall correctly. If you have webspace and would like to host it, I can send it to you. Let me know.Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080646540318025542004-03-30T03:35:00.000-08:002004-03-30T03:38:16.013-08:00THUNDERBIRDS
I have absolutely no experience with the TV show, except for having seen a couple of clips, tops, so I had no idea what the actual premise of the movie would be. The trailer does a good job of setting it up--the Tracy family has been captured, or something, and "Who rescues the rescuers?" Well, the one son left behind. And his friends, who seem to be... much younger than he is.
Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080589599416913192004-03-29T11:46:00.000-08:002004-03-29T11:51:22.060-08:00GARDEN STATE
Ah, Natalie Portman! Ah, she's alive! And just when I started wondering what happened to the little one from Leon and Beautiful Girls! It's so nice to see her in a movie again... Or at least in a nice trailer such as this. Honestly, if you have a little indie movie, this is the was you market it: use neither voiceover nor dialogue, just a nice little indie tune, and show just enoughVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080573246176471772004-03-29T07:14:00.000-08:002004-03-29T07:16:41.200-08:00SPIDER-MAN 2
This one's a pirated trailer--I'm going to guess from ShoWest--but it's really, really good. Or maybe I'm just a sucker for Carmina Burana-ripoff style music. But it does a really good job of setting up the essential conflicts of the story--Peter doesn't want to be Spider-Man anymore, Mary Jane's getting married to someone else, the James Franco character whose name I forget is Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080572491667087482004-03-29T07:01:00.000-08:002004-03-29T07:04:06.843-08:00CATWOMAN
Oh, my God, this is so bad. The girlish voiceover is bad, the tagline ("THIS SUMMER... THE CITY IS FULL OF RATS") is bad, the sushi and cream jokes are bad, the music is bad, the last shot is bad, and we knew the costumes were bad. And it's coming out in July. I am telling you, unless someone gets in there and does triage on this thing, Catwoman is this year's Gigli.Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080360893866222882004-03-26T20:14:00.000-08:002004-03-27T16:45:36.263-08:00WHITE CHICKS
Ladies and gentlemen, we have another winner. The WORST PREMISE FOR A MOVIE EVER EVER EVER has officially been found. Raise your hand if you're surprised that the Wayans brothers are behind it. Nobody?
Shawn and Marlon Wayans play two FBI agents who are forced through some idiot circumstance to pose as white chicks.
WHITE CHICKS.
I usually try and think twice before using the Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080254736485444872004-03-25T14:45:00.000-08:002004-03-25T14:48:07.390-08:00THE NOTEBOOK
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! The Movie with Most Melodramatic Cliches EVAR has been found! So much syrup, it's guaranteed to give you diabetes just from watching the trailer!
(...and then again, Rachel McAdams sure looks fetching. Pack that insulin, Igor.)Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080251276874113942004-03-25T13:47:00.000-08:002004-03-25T13:51:15.746-08:00GARFIELD
Um, it's too easy to dig into this thing and rip it to greasy chunks like a steamy lasagna. I mean, look at all the available angles.
a) Wasn't this needed about 15 years ago? Is the technological advance the only reason we're getting a live-action Garfield movie in 2004?
b) Didn't Peter Hewitt also direct The Borrowers? You know, the only movie I showed my incredibly forgiving mom Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1080211718333466492004-03-25T02:48:00.000-08:002004-03-25T13:51:35.216-08:00HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN - FULL TRAILER
I admit I fell in love with the teaser trailer, with the children's choir and all that: it felt English, it felt whimsically Christmasy, and yes, it even felt magical. And it assured me Alfonso Cuaron knew what he was doing, and that some desperately necessary new cinematic blood was being injected into the Potter series. If the actual Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1079724349242522162004-03-19T11:25:00.000-08:002004-03-19T11:28:14.310-08:00VAN HELSING
I'm probably not the best person to ask if this is a good trailer or not, because I have all sorts of love-hate baggage regarding this movie. As in, I love all the actors involved, I love the character, I love the Dracula mythos, and GABRIEL? HIS NAME IS GABRIEL? SHE'S WEARING PANTS? And then I fall over in a frothing rage. So. Yeah.
And I'm still going to go see this movie, and I'mCleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1079391872026544242004-03-15T15:04:00.000-08:002004-03-15T15:17:26.700-08:00I, ROBOT
(Also available on the Apple site, but only in non-dowloadable versions.)
Okay. When exactly did we all lose our collective brains and become pod people? Induced to respond to always the certain kind of blockbuster movie and always the same kind of blockbuster movie trailer stimuli? What is it that you say? Right about the same time Hollywood started counting their budgets in the eightVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1078887410344462822004-03-09T18:56:00.000-08:002004-03-09T18:59:05.293-08:00HELLBOY: FEATURETTE
Aw Chr1st. I go to CHUD, read the new Daily Leak, and that poor misbegotten nerd Nunziata actually has the nerve to complain that Best Buy employees don't have a goddamn clue about the Hellboy Promo Featurette that's playing in their store as part of some cross-promotion-pollination-breeding-gonzo-penetration scheme. Yeah: you go work for a chain store that pays you minimum Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1078609430831107632004-03-06T13:43:00.000-08:002004-03-06T13:48:02.090-08:00TROY
Ah, so the advertising campaign kicks into Minion Planned Stage Two. We've seen the Superbowl ad ("Look! We bought MASSIVE software!") and now we get to see the Personal Story With the Cast of (Rendered) Thousands angle. And, I don't know, but the whole thing so far totally reeks of aping the LOTR advertising strategy.
The problem is, the movie doesn't convey anything similar to the depth Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1076672959478060562004-02-13T03:49:00.000-08:002004-02-13T03:51:56.670-08:00STARSHIP TROOPERS 2: HERO OF THE FEDERATION
Hail Phil Tippet, Hero of the FX Geekdom! The man who designed go-motion at ILM and animated the first believable CG critters for Jurassic Park has finally directed his first film. This man has been almost the Harryhausen of our generation. And now he has directed his first feature.
Which looks and feels godawful, judging by the trailer. Don't be Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1076426493991832372004-02-10T07:21:00.000-08:002004-02-10T07:23:20.966-08:00CONNIE & CARLA
Nia Vardalos? Funny lady. Toni Collette? Very funny lady. Sister Act? The greatest movie ever made. Which makes me actually interested in Connie & Carla, because it's basically Sister Act if you replace the word "nun" with "drag queen." And there ain't nothing wrong with that!
Actually, there could be a lot wrong with that. A whole lot. It may turn out to be one of those loud, Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1076419708045117512004-02-10T05:28:00.000-08:002004-02-10T05:30:53.340-08:00GOOD BYE, LENIN!
I saw this trailer the other day and fell in love. It's about a German boy whose mother goes into a coma, and while she's unconscious, the Berlin wall comes down and the country (and the world) becomes a completely different place. Then she wakes up in what I'm assuming is the present, and because she might die if she experiences any sort of excitement or stress, the son Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1076414000536487552004-02-10T03:53:00.000-08:002004-02-10T03:57:00.670-08:00AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
The first Disneyfied version of this Jules Verne novel, starring the arch-gentleman David Niven as the inventor Phileas Fogg, actually managed to win the 1956 Best Picture Oscar. It was a silly, fluffy, overblown movie for its time, full of star cameos and wholesome, extremely reactionary entertainment. Now, almost half a century later, Disney and that new paragon of Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1076017332556738842004-02-05T13:42:00.000-08:002004-02-05T13:43:54.373-08:00KILL BILL, Vol. 2
Eh. This is stylish and retro and all, but, you know. I guess some people need reminding that the most inconclusive, stylish, and violent movie seen in multiplexes last year actually has a sequel. Which you'd go see anyway if you liked the first one - and I did, quite a bit - and which you'd avoid like a plague otherwise.
So what's the point? Uma's dodgy acting? She was so Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-107573486549207352004-02-02T07:14:00.000-08:002004-02-02T07:16:04.436-08:00SUPERBOWL DOWNLOADS
Dark Horizons has all the Superbowl ads up for download, plus the Nickelodeon Harry Potter ad. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075691573642362772004-02-01T19:12:00.000-08:002004-02-01T19:14:32.153-08:00SUPERBOWL: THE LADYKILLERS
Wow, that was extremely unimpressive for a movie by the Coens starring Tom Hanks. Seriously, I kept expecting the little old black lady to be played by Eddie Murphy. "None of that hiphoppity talk, Hercules!"Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075687883125056432004-02-01T18:11:00.000-08:002004-02-01T18:13:01.606-08:00SUPERBOWL: HIDALGO
That sound you just heard? Was my mother squeeing downstairs. It's basically footage from the full trailers, but minus the sappy dialogue. Good job. Also: "See this trailer again at Yahoo Movies.com." Nice touch. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075683241013353782004-02-01T16:54:00.000-08:002004-02-01T16:55:39.606-08:00SUPERBOWL: SECRET WINDOW
Well, this one certainly introduces a supernatural element I didn't see in the full trailer. Interesting. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075682400798079602004-02-01T16:40:00.000-08:002004-02-01T16:43:21.670-08:00SUPERBOWL: STARSKY AND HUTCH
I sort of flatlined on this one until we got to an exchange near the end.
Ben Stiller: "You know a lot about golf."
Snoop Dogg: "Yeah... but I know even more about grass."
I actually guffawed at this point. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075681001351973642004-02-01T16:16:00.000-08:002004-02-01T16:20:42.920-08:00SUPERBOWL: THE ALAMO
Man... that's an awful TV spot. "We're gonna need a bigger boat a lot more men." They do that speed-up slow-down sort of trailer action shot, but not even well, and--you know what? It was cut like a Pirates of the Caribbean-caliber promo. This is not Pirates of the Caribbean. This is The Alamo. I never thought I would complain that a movie didn't roll out the mournful-music Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075680680834372442004-02-01T16:11:00.000-08:002004-02-01T16:12:59.250-08:00SUPERBOWL: MIRACLE
It's mostly a "Critics are saying..." commercial set to "Dream On." Effective. Also, Kurt Russell's hair is possibly the most realistic '70s hair I've ever seen. Good job, man. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1075680222214129872004-02-01T16:03:00.000-08:002004-02-01T16:11:59.340-08:00SUPERBOWL MOVIE PREVIEWS
I've been asleep all afternoon with a sore throat, and I don't watch football anyway, so I forgot about the movie promos coming out tonight. Mom says she saw a Van Helsing commercial pretty early on (we're, what, thirty minutes into the game?), and I just saw a Troy promo when I went downstairs for more tea. Not much happened in the Troy; pretty men were pretty. And BradCleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074958640021570922004-01-24T07:37:00.000-08:002004-01-24T07:38:49.843-08:00EPISODE III FOOTAGE
Get this one while you can, folks. It's extremely low quality, and looks like someone managed to sneak a video camera into the Euro Con promotional screening. Latino Review has an extremely hyper scooper who gives his opinion ("the greatest sword choreography ever!," "a nuclear explosion of a finale!"), and... well, it's interesting. It's all behind the scenes/green screen Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074908939788702092004-01-23T17:48:00.000-08:002004-01-23T17:50:28.733-08:00KILL BILL VOL. 2
1. Thank God Yahoo has started offering files in Quicktime.
2. Nice. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074732592112665702004-01-21T16:49:00.000-08:002004-01-21T16:55:48.110-08:00ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
For those of you who might be SAST-y, this has been one of the scripts the Mistress of Digest reviewed way back when. And it has always seemed to be such a totally Charlie Kaufman type of thing - it sounds so high concept on page (a guy erases his memories of his one major heartbreak so he can cope with it, which is something we all can identify with, I Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074637216757955072004-01-20T14:20:00.000-08:002004-01-20T14:21:42.153-08:00ASSORTED TRAILERS
Just wanted to do a quick rundown of trailers I saw in front of Peter Pan, as I'd meant to download several of them as it was.
Two Brothers: I must have gotten this confused with a different Guy Pearce movie, because the title had me expected some sort of crime drama. Instead, it's about two tigers, "from the director of The Bear!" You get very cute scenes of a little girl Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074636495463823812004-01-20T14:08:00.000-08:002004-01-20T14:09:41.013-08:00MAN ON FIRE
I was expecting this to be pretty bad, but it's got that nice gritty Tony Scott look to it, and Christopher Walken, and of course Denzel Washington. It also has Dakota Fanning as the requisite precocious wise-beyond-her-years child, and the dialogue in the trailer is pretty hit-you-over-the-head Denzel-can't-open-up-to-people awful. (I say "Denzel" because his character's name is... Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074635437406705512004-01-20T13:50:00.000-08:002004-01-20T13:53:31.356-08:00SECRET WINDOW
Clearly, if the trailer needs of my female readership are going to be taken care of, I'm going to have to do it. I mean, I have three guys reviewing trailers, and yet no one's hit a new movie from Johnny Depp. I mean, come on.
Really, though, this is your typical Stephen King "Let me go out into the woods where no one can possibly come to my aid while a freaky guy stalks me. Also,Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074300488192371042004-01-16T16:48:00.000-08:002004-01-16T16:54:23.686-08:00ELLA ENCHANTED
Apparently I needed something to cleanse my eyes of the multi-pronged assault at all the dear old Universal Monster Movies that Stephen Sommers just unleashed, claiming its first Victim of Digest (see below). The solution? The girliest girly movie that ever girlymovied, and which appeared out of nowhere.
And aside from being really that girly, it's also goofy, ditzy, silly, campyVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074279731622671612004-01-16T11:02:00.000-08:002004-01-16T14:21:01.623-08:00VAN HELSING
THANK YOU. GAHHH.
Update: Now that I've thoroughly screen-capped the trailer, I have to say... yes, c'est cheese. It's sort of like ("The Mummy" + Wolverine) x ("Bram Stoker's Dracula" - R rating). And you know what? It looks pretty awesome. I mean, the accents and the special effects aren't anything to write home about at this point, but the little things you see when you Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074244193574533412004-01-16T01:09:00.000-08:002004-01-16T01:15:01.106-08:00THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
Jesus.
In non-downloadable formats. Well, so what, it's not a new Stephen Sommers movie (right, Boss of Digest?), and it won't have its own line of Sideshow collectibles (except maybe that hammer that's suspiciosly omnipresent in this trailer, as if we didn't know who yields it). It's Quicktime, though, and you get to see everything nice and clear.
You actually get toVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074225536615904382004-01-15T19:58:00.000-08:002004-01-15T20:00:18.403-08:00VAN HELSING
MUST EVERYTHING NEW BE STREAMING MEDIA???
So: from the people who brought you The Mummy--wow, these accents are cheese-a-rific, y'all. Is Jackman going for Dutch or British or what? I can't really see much more than "Wow, the movie looks pretty cool... are those effects going to be that sketchy in the finished version?" More when the trailer HITS QUICKTIME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074214285029323042004-01-15T16:51:00.000-08:002004-01-15T16:56:06.810-08:00STARSKY AND HUTCH
Eh. So Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller... together... they fight crime.
Eh. I guess they thought that if Wes Anderson can make them seem great, a random remake of a Seventies TV show - done up to actually seem like it was made in the Seventies, except for the one bit where everyone seems to be clean here, not greasy and sweaty like it was in the good ole 1975 - can make them look Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074213603314557222004-01-15T16:40:00.000-08:002004-01-15T17:00:24.966-08:00THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
And now, a movie the Bundys might like. A high school senior gets a crush on the titular neighbor, since she lives next door, and she's also kinda titular... And then she's very sexually mature and actively makes fun of his rampant libido and... God, how dare they use Under Pressure as trailer music... Never mind that... Anyway, the girl turns out to be a porn star, and just Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074212678552785792004-01-15T16:24:00.000-08:002004-01-15T16:59:53.890-08:00SPARTAN
All right, people. Top reason why David Mamet rocks? ...Because he's the greatest living American playwright? Because he can write and direct those Chinexe box-type thrillers like there is no such thing as Gary Fleder? Because he's the lord of ensemble acting?
(/Smeagol voice): No.
Because he always, always uses Ed O'Neill.
And how can you not like Ted Bundy as a dead-serious FBI Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074118000312079042004-01-14T14:06:00.000-08:002004-01-14T14:10:01.310-08:00JERSEY GIRL
You know, people, Kevin Smith is so what Peter Jackson could have become. A self-taught geek from a small community, raised on B-movies, comicbooks and whatnot. And all I can say about it right now is... "phew".
I mean. Look at this. A charming romcom about Ben losing Jen at childbirth, but the Child of Bennifer is so cute and precocious that his life still has meaning. Cue that oldVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1074035941007169682004-01-13T15:19:00.000-08:002004-01-13T15:23:24.076-08:00BLUEPRINT
Another report from Gunther: "Iris Sellin is a world famous pianist and composer. She's seriously ill from Multiple Sclerosis but she wants to have a daughter who should inherit her musical talent. She convinces a scientist to clone her. Her daughter (aptly named Siri) grows up and also becomes a gifted piano player but without knowing that she is a clone. Only years later it is Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1073689798813269252004-01-09T15:09:00.000-08:002004-01-09T15:13:26.216-08:00DON'S PLUM
I am a bad person with an unkempt inbox. From Gunther, a week ago:
"Later in the month a film called 'Don's Plum' will be starting in (a few) 'selected' theaters in Germany. I don't know if you are familiar with the story of the film (I certainly wasn't until last week). About eight years ago someone shot a few (mostly improvised) scenes with some young, unknown actors. If I Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1073138945348716032004-01-03T06:09:00.000-08:002004-01-03T06:10:49.390-08:00CATCH THAT KID
Now IMDb doesn't list Estella Warren as appearing in this at all, so it must be - gasp! - little Kirsten Stewart in that red dress. Not that she's not the main star of this movie anyway, but I can't believe how estellalike she is in a few shots. Other than that, though, it's a stupid ripoff of stupid Spy Kids, avoid at all costs, and I should honestly be working.Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1073137713557078712004-01-03T05:48:00.000-08:002004-01-03T05:49:42.373-08:00TAKING LIVES
Dammit. Can't get the trailer to the new lesbian Yog Sothoth movie to load. And even if I did, I'd have to FedEx the inner 3-y-o away to Alabama before I watched it. So I settle for another Angelina Jolie movie. In which she's a psychic investigator working on a strange murder case and snogging Ethan Hawke and the killer takes many identities and it's probably Kiefer Sutherland and Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1073135224898021862004-01-03T05:07:00.000-08:002004-01-03T05:08:50.500-08:00SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
This is cute! says my inner three-year-old. It has Jude Law and Angelina Jolie and Gwyneth Paltrow and it looks like a prewar comicbook combined with manga and it's a lot of silly campy fun! Well, yes, but it's also a De Laurentiis production in the best vein of Flash Gordon, and I am not really sure that it will work at all. Does look nifty, though - Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1073133788369401332004-01-03T04:43:00.000-08:002004-01-03T16:57:19.606-08:0013 GOING ON 30
For some reason, all my friends here in Crapatia got hooked on my Season 1 boxset of Alias. And even some who haven't seen it yet... started dying their hair bright red... it's just random and weird. So anyway, whilst searching the net for any news of the yet-to-materialise Season 2 box, I stumbled upon this: another installment in the What Jen G Did During Her Series Filming Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1072429683758613472003-12-26T01:08:00.000-08:002003-12-26T01:09:04.860-08:00THE DREAMERS
TWINS WHO FUCK EACH OTHER? EWWWWWWW!!! But I guess that's what we're supposed to think because Michael Pitt is grossed out by it too. He's an American in Paris who meets two attractive young people such as himself who invite him to live with them and have lots of kinky threesomes. Then he finds out that they're actually brother and sister and runs away, because...well, I hope I Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1072428997543995412003-12-26T00:56:00.000-08:002003-12-26T00:57:37.983-08:00WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON!
Topher Grace and Kate Bosworth are best friends who are such good friends that they don't realize that the love of the their life is right in front of them. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Kate Bosworth enters and wins a contest to go on a date with hunky movie star Tad Hamilton (Josh Duhamel), who proceeds to woo her, which in turn makes Topher Grace realize Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1072428432895187152003-12-26T00:47:00.000-08:002003-12-26T00:48:13.466-08:00THE PRINCE & ME
So we already know that I automatically hate any movie in which a romance is built on a lie and then the woman shrills, "YOU LIEEEEEEEEED TO MEEEE!" and runs away dramatically when she finds out the truth about the man she THOUGHT she loved! But this has to be the absolute stupidest use of this convention ever: Julia Stiles is a college student (lovably clumsy, of course, becauseEricnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1072358098953900012003-12-25T05:14:00.000-08:002003-12-25T05:22:20.110-08:00KING ARTHUR
You know, I honestly don't subscribe to the view put forward by Chris Snyder in An Age of Tyrants that there was no Arthur, simply because those dodgy chroniclers, Gildas and Nennius, don't name him openly. John Morris' reconstruction of the Fifth and Sixth century Britain in The Age of Arthur actually seems more convincing. There was, then, a time when the Britons still considered Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1071508841377116132003-12-15T09:20:00.000-08:002003-12-15T09:21:31.780-08:00SPIDER-MAN 2
Just a quick note that the trailer's up. My sound isn't working, but it looks pretty awesome, that's for sure. Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1071214431490570892003-12-11T23:33:00.000-08:002003-12-11T23:36:14.356-08:00GARFIELD: THE MOVIE
WHAT DID I TELL YOU PEOPLE ABOUT USING BAD CGI TO MAKE LIVE-ACTION MOVIES OUT OF THINGS THAT SHOULD NEVER BE LIVE-ACTION? Now I'm just angry. And the weird cartoon proportions in the live-action setting are CREEPING MY SHIT OUT.
P.S. Jennifer Love Hewitt should be banned from doing anything ever.Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1071141047432793942003-12-11T03:10:00.000-08:002003-12-11T03:12:59.390-08:00THE RETURN OF THE KING: DIGITAL HORSE DOUBLES
Where is the horse and the rider? They were supposed to be rendered and comped three hours ago! (Bitchslap) We're never gonna be able to put this in theaters on time! What! You're telling me you can't crunch out three more measly shots with 5000+ horsemen in them in over a day? What are we paying you for, people? No wonder everyone thinks that SerkisVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1070584109013997812003-12-04T16:28:00.000-08:002003-12-04T16:29:08.733-08:00HIDALGO
Also known as, Seabiscuit of Arabia.
Or, A Movie about a Guy Who Belongs to a Vanishing Kind of the West, and Would Yet Rather Spend His Time with a Horse. Who else but the Vig. And of all the LOTR luminaries, this man here has apparently chosen the wisest follow-up project - perfectly, perfectly suited to his charm, his laid-back humor, his manliness and his horsemanship. And it's Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1070583474648847112003-12-04T16:17:00.000-08:002003-12-04T16:18:34.496-08:00TWISTED
What can I say. I like Philip Kaufman, since he thought up Raiders, even though I heartily despise most of his recent output, the banal Quills first and foremost. And I like Ashley Judd because she publicly complimented my English, even though I wish I could see her in more movies like Frida, where she was surprisingly charming... and thin.
Well then. Here, Ashley hides her admirable Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1070582057340444802003-12-04T15:54:00.000-08:002003-12-04T16:01:12.623-08:00THE RETURN OF THE KING: THE JAY LENO CLIP
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! My eyeses! They just got them stabbed!
Like, the first thing you see is Leno and Elijah Wood gleefully turning to the studio widescreen TV. And then... Sam on top of Gollum. Writhing.
It then expands into a full version of the "He means to murder us!"/"I'm not sending him away!" scene from the trailer, but, folks... Over Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1070581681117621852003-12-04T15:48:00.000-08:002003-12-04T15:48:40.530-08:00HELLBOY
Okay, this is later than late, but I'm catching up on trailer reviews after a ton of Real Life things, so bear with me.
Ergo. Hellboy. Looks like the comic. At least Perlman does, bless his heart. His character is the Dirty Harry of comicbook mutants and Perlman nails him to the T. The movie, though? Puerile, and then some. Cheesy dialogue, cheesy cinematography that could have used a Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068893427164206012003-11-15T02:50:00.000-08:002003-11-15T14:35:12.436-08:00PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
What's wrong with you people? Every time I think I have the IQ of an average studio executive figured out, the lowest common denominator drops a notch. And you know, I have nothing, repeat nothing against modern-day lighthearted adaptations of classics (if you consider the Austen to be a classic, honestly). But this? Made me shake my head in a sad disbelief.
Of course, maybeVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068892563313958002003-11-15T02:36:00.000-08:002003-11-15T02:36:23.623-08:00THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION
So Julianne Moore wakes up one morning and realises she's married... to Pierce Brosnan! Ah! The horror! The nightmare! The wish-fulfillment of every woman entering menopause! She has to do something about it, so she mugs a lot, in hope that this adult comedy about lawyers (The Laws of Attraction, get it? So spiffy) will attract the so-important teenage crowd. Because, you Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068771426208797542003-11-13T16:57:00.000-08:002003-11-13T17:16:10.000-08:00THE COMPANY
I love the Altman, but I dunno about this one. It almost put me to sleep and it was barely over two minutes long, dude. Maybe it's all the softening filters. Maybe it's Neve Campbell, her squintiness back with a vengeance. Maybe it's the voiceover, which informs us that ballet requires things like "sacrifice" and "feeling the music." What, like I didn't see Center Stage? Wait, uh, Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068761882092900692003-11-13T14:18:00.000-08:002003-11-13T14:18:21.186-08:00THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
...Never Dies.
Oh, God, where to begin. Okay. The natural disaster known as Roland Emmerich started his career in Germany back in the 80s with a little-known natural disaster movie known as Das Noahs Ark Prinzip, which kinda reminds me of this. Then he unleashed Stargate, ID4 and Godzilla upon us. Not to mention Patriot. And now he's back full circle, gleefully subjectingVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068757320738617442003-11-13T13:02:00.000-08:002003-11-13T13:02:19.996-08:00DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS
No.Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068757235016761262003-11-13T13:00:00.000-08:002003-11-13T14:18:45.686-08:00HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
Actually, this is the very best trailer I've seen since my appointment as a Park Ranger. Looks and feels teasing enough, atmospheric enough, enough like a fairytale, sexy enough (even if not relying on the cute British school uniforms), and clever enough to actually seem all of a piece, precisely because of the Children's Choir. So, you know, unlike the Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068678440474407982003-11-12T15:07:00.000-08:002003-11-12T20:28:38.046-08:00HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
Trailer. Go now.
ETA: All right, I've finally come home and gotten hold of the thing. The opening logo is awesome. I loved Something Wicked This Way Comes, so it's a nice touch to have that as a tag line. The movie looks awesome, Gambon makes a fine Dumbledore, I really like Oldman as Sirius now that I've seen him in action... but. BUT. The Saint Toad Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068675988851257042003-11-12T14:26:00.000-08:002003-11-12T14:27:58.430-08:00SCOOBY-DOO 2: MONSTERS UNLEASHED (TEASER)
I hate Scooby-Doo for roughly the same reason I hate The Cat in the Hat: BAD. CGI. Y'ALL. Bad CGI used to make something live-action that was never, ever meant to be live-action. I also just hate Scooby-Doo because he's not funny. And I also hate Matthew Lillard. And I hate any movie whose tagline is, "Look Doo's back!" What, like "Look who's back!"? Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068675301779426352003-11-12T14:15:00.000-08:002003-11-12T14:15:32.426-08:00CHASING LIBERTY
Mandy Moore stars as the President's daughter, pissed off about being swarmed by Secret Service agents whenever she goes on a date, so she decides to go on the run with a random hunk on a motorcycle. And they're in Prague, because he has to have a sexy accent. I suppose they're going to have many adventures wherein Mandy teaches Random Hunk how to live life to the fullest or Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068631604938928182003-11-12T02:06:00.000-08:002003-11-12T08:36:01.450-08:00THE POLAR EXPRESS
Eeeeeeeekkkkk! Why didn't anyone tell me this was up! It might be months old, it might be brand new. But it's the first thing I've heard or seen of the new Zemeckis/Hanks collaboration since it was announced way back when. Oh, the joys of consorting with a movie news website mistress at the end of a semester. When her only joy comes from the movies featuring lots of hunky men Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068630177281581962003-11-12T01:42:00.000-08:002003-11-12T01:43:07.253-08:00SHREK 2
Who making a strictly cash-in sequel? We at DreamWorks? But we never make sequels! Unless they have a strong enough story to stand on their own!
Uh, yeah, Mr. Katzenberg. True, this concept of poking fratboy-type fun at Brothers Grimm tales was, in fact, successful the last time round. Even took the B.O. gold and Oscar gold right from underneath that perfect little movie starring littleVladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068571474111619742003-11-11T09:24:00.000-08:002003-11-11T09:24:31.520-08:00TROY
In my raving flu I forgot to update the Troy entry, because I have seen the Quicktime version, and it is pretty awesome. Best shot: the camera pulling out to show, literally, a thousand ships. And you heard it here first: I promise you that haute couture is going to start ripping off that chunky geometrical jewelry in about six months. Oh, and Helen gets naked, which I guess is the Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068503064288815082003-11-10T14:24:00.000-08:002003-11-10T14:51:29.436-08:00THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA
To be honest, I can't say for sure if this is the real deal or not. However, being even more honest, it's the funniest goddamn thing I've ever seen. If a feature-length parody of Ed Wood-y alien invasion movies (without updated techniques, a la Mars Attacks!) is actually being produced by a real studio and distributed into real theaters, then there is a God, and he Ericnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1068156789665842532003-11-06T14:13:00.000-08:002003-11-06T14:31:31.283-08:00TROY
The trailer's up at the official site. I haven't watched it yet (still loading), but let's just say that AngelDust gives "the Orlando Bloom trailer" two thumbs up.
ETA: DAMMIT! It's streaming Yahoo crap! I refuse to review streaming Yahoo crap. The official site says they'll have it Friday. Grrrrr.Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1067961486726822262003-11-04T07:58:00.000-08:002003-11-04T07:59:39.703-08:00THE PUNISHER (FULL TRAILER)
So... they killed his family on a dock and blew it up, and he waded out of the water and conveniently found a black T-shirt with a skull on it floating in the tidepools? Rrrright.
Also: We are to the point where advertising John Travolta actually makes me want to not see the movie.
ETA: Well, jinx (see entry below). Serves me right for not checking the blog first.Cleolinda Jonesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5308120.post-1067942593143751772003-11-04T02:43:00.000-08:002003-11-04T05:37:06.280-08:00THE PUNISHER
And speaking of castles, here's Frank. Frank Castle. The classic Marvel vigilante hero. Incarnated once before in the immortal visage of Dolph Lundgren. And now, for your delectation, inhabiting the persona of one Thomas Jane, esq.
Bet you didn't expect this to start out in Malibu to the ditzy sounds of Thomas Newman's American Beauty score, eh? Ah, the amber-hued times the Castle Vladimirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06602802013742276873noreply@blogger.com