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Saturday, June 19, 2004  

CATWOMAN

I sure hope this falls under Cleo's definition of a trailer review.

posted by Eric | 2:05 AM


Tuesday, June 08, 2004  

THE AVIATOR

Yo, Marty, two things.

First, if you want to make your own Great American Biopic, you nerd you, go film the story of William Randolph Hearst himself; for all the ejaculate swapping dedicated to Citizen Kane over the past 60-odd years, noone has done it, and you have shown recently that you're nothing if not dedicated to plagiarizing being inspired by the classics.

Second, if you must have a biopic of Howard Hughes at all cost, you could do better than to cast it with bankable people who look nothing like their truly famous characters, do much better than to cut the first trailer to it in a manner aimed at the lowest possible denominator, and do much, much better than to decide to promote it via some godforsaken AOL customer service, encoded so badly that however dodgy it might otherwise seem to be, it comes out being truly unwatchable.

(Awwww. Don't cry. You'll get your Oscar... eventually. Safe in the knowledge that Michael Moore got it before you did.)

posted by Vladimir | 4:32 AM


Wednesday, June 02, 2004  

THE POLAR EXPRESS

I hate this trailer.

It's not as godforsaken as The Grinch, I give you that. But I'm a big Van Allsburg fan, and I cherished this book as a kid, and--the tone of the movie is just completely, completely off. It ought to be something hushed and magical and almost spooky. You know the main Harry Potter theme? That's what I hear in my head when I imagine it. It should not full of dancing waiters and gospel choirs. In fact, I think this should have been a half-hour TV special at most, because there's not enough story to sustain a feature-length film, and the shit they're making up is just vague action filler.

The worst part is, even if you don't know the book from Adam's housecat (even though it's a Christmas staple--the gift set usually has its own little bell included), the trailer still gives away the end of the movie. What's the point?

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 8:52 AM
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