Trailer Park
Want to know if that trailer is worth your download time? Find out.

Friday, February 13, 2004  


Hail Phil Tippet, Hero of the FX Geekdom! The man who designed go-motion at ILM and animated the first believable CG critters for Jurassic Park has finally directed his first film. This man has been almost the Harryhausen of our generation. And now he has directed his first feature.

Which looks and feels godawful, judging by the trailer. Don't be fooled by many shots from the Verhoeven original: the actual ST2 footage here is lame as it gets. Just note that the distributor logo is listed as Columbia TriStar Home Video, and set all your hopes accordingly. CHUD hosts this trailer, amazingly enough, so expect them to find a lot of ways to spin this as a cool, geeky movie in the months to come.

posted by Vladimir | 3:49 AM

Tuesday, February 10, 2004  


Nia Vardalos? Funny lady. Toni Collette? Very funny lady. Sister Act? The greatest movie ever made. Which makes me actually interested in Connie & Carla, because it's basically Sister Act if you replace the word "nun" with "drag queen." And there ain't nothing wrong with that!

Actually, there could be a lot wrong with that. A whole lot. It may turn out to be one of those loud, ugly, unfunny comedies that breed like cockroaches in American multiplexes during the first four months of every year. It could be one of those movies that mistakenly believes that drag queens are inherently funny and not go any further than that to make us laugh.

I'm inclined, however, to put at least a little bit of faith in the fact that it was written by Vardalos herself, and one of the things I liked most about My Big Fat Greek Wedding is that it didn't hit you over the head with the funny. This trailer does hit you over the head, but maybe she'll do it right. If the mere involvement of Vardalos and Collette isn't enough to make you smile, at least download the trailer so you can giggle at them dressed as men dressed as women.

posted by Eric | 7:21 AM


I saw this trailer the other day and fell in love. It's about a German boy whose mother goes into a coma, and while she's unconscious, the Berlin wall comes down and the country (and the world) becomes a completely different place. Then she wakes up in what I'm assuming is the present, and because she might die if she experiences any sort of excitement or stress, the son resolves to make her believe the world is exactly the same as when she went into the coma: he reconstructs her old bedroom, films fake newscasts with his friends, etc.

Life is good for mommy...until she looks out the window and sees A COCA-COLA BILLBOARD!

Then there are some scenes with her walking around outside in confusion and I want to see this movie more than anything. The German movies I've seen have been all about finding dark comedy in the weirdest subject matter, and the trailer for Good Bye, Lenin! made me laugh out loud.

posted by Eric | 5:28 AM


The first Disneyfied version of this Jules Verne novel, starring the arch-gentleman David Niven as the inventor Phileas Fogg, actually managed to win the 1956 Best Picture Oscar. It was a silly, fluffy, overblown movie for its time, full of star cameos and wholesome, extremely reactionary entertainment. Now, almost half a century later, Disney and that new paragon of pedagogic filmmaking, Walden Media (who are doing the new CS Lewis adaptations, too), are bringing us the 21st century version - sillier! fluffier! more overblown! And it even has some star cameos. Witness Arnold Schwarzenegger as a man with multiple wives! Laugh at his long, curly wig! Or, in any case, giggle at seeing Jim Broadbent at his Moulin Rouge campy best! ("If you lose this bet, Fogg, you can never invent again!") Or, never mind, enjoy the awesome martial-arts prowess of Jackie Chan! Or at least snerk to the patrician eyebrows of Steve Coogan, doing his best to be the perfect arch-gentleman, even though he'd probably much rather just go partying with go-go girls in Manchester or thereabouts.

Failing all that, you can join me in pretending this awesome piece of middlebrow shit never existed, and completely ignore it, safe in knowing that it will never, ever come close to a Best Picture nomination. We have Beautiful Minds for that now. See how times have progressed?

posted by Vladimir | 3:53 AM

Thursday, February 05, 2004  


Eh. This is stylish and retro and all, but, you know. I guess some people need reminding that the most inconclusive, stylish, and violent movie seen in multiplexes last year actually has a sequel. Which you'd go see anyway if you liked the first one - and I did, quite a bit - and which you'd avoid like a plague otherwise.

So what's the point? Uma's dodgy acting? She was so cool in the movie, but here, for the purposes of the trailer, she kinda sucks again. Driving a car in front of a rear projection screen and spurting semi-lame Quarantino lines. Nope, she's not the point. The point is... that we get to see the face of David Carradine. You know, just because his face wasn't shown once during the entire first movie, so I kinda expected a big reveal of it down the line.

What's the word. Meh.

posted by Vladimir | 1:42 PM

Monday, February 02, 2004  


Dark Horizons has all the Superbowl ads up for download, plus the Nickelodeon Harry Potter ad.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:14 AM

Sunday, February 01, 2004  


Wow, that was extremely unimpressive for a movie by the Coens starring Tom Hanks. Seriously, I kept expecting the little old black lady to be played by Eddie Murphy. "None of that hiphoppity talk, Hercules!"

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 7:12 PM


That sound you just heard? Was my mother squeeing downstairs. It's basically footage from the full trailers, but minus the sappy dialogue. Good job. Also: "See this trailer again at Yahoo" Nice touch.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 6:11 PM


Well, this one certainly introduces a supernatural element I didn't see in the full trailer. Interesting.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:54 PM


I sort of flatlined on this one until we got to an exchange near the end.

Ben Stiller: "You know a lot about golf."

Snoop Dogg: "Yeah... but I know even more about grass."

I actually guffawed at this point.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:40 PM


Man... that's an awful TV spot. "We're gonna need a bigger boat a lot more men." They do that speed-up slow-down sort of trailer action shot, but not even well, and--you know what? It was cut like a Pirates of the Caribbean-caliber promo. This is not Pirates of the Caribbean. This is The Alamo. I never thought I would complain that a movie didn't roll out the mournful-music pompous-slomo Oscarbait clich├ęs, but... dude, it's THE ALAMO. You're allowed.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:16 PM


It's mostly a "Critics are saying..." commercial set to "Dream On." Effective. Also, Kurt Russell's hair is possibly the most realistic '70s hair I've ever seen. Good job, man.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:11 PM


I've been asleep all afternoon with a sore throat, and I don't watch football anyway, so I forgot about the movie promos coming out tonight. Mom says she saw a Van Helsing commercial pretty early on (we're, what, thirty minutes into the game?), and I just saw a Troy promo when I went downstairs for more tea. Not much happened in the Troy; pretty men were pretty. And Brad Pitt said something vengeful in a silly British accent. Good times. I'll report back when something else comes up.

posted by Cleolinda Jones | 4:03 PM